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Continue reading →: What Nobody Told Me About GrandparentingNobody warned me that becoming a grandmother would involve falling madly in love with a demanding little drunk. She staggers around my house, makes unreasonable demands, becomes emotional without warning, steals food from my plate, and occasionally wakes up with absolutely no concern for why everyone else is exhausted. She…
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Continue reading →: Caregiving Can Get Ugly: The Part Nobody Puts in the BrochureWe like our caregiving stories tidy. Someone we love needs help, so we step in. We envision casseroles, meaningful conversations, and perhaps some poignant hand-holding. We discover reserves of strength we didn’t know we had, everyone becomes closer, and eventually somebody learns an important lesson about love. Cue the inspirational…
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Continue reading →: The Toddler Is WinningI would like to report that I have been thoroughly outmatched by an 18-month-old. This is irritating because I have spent most of my life becoming competent. My first computer was an Apple II. Not an emulator. Not a vintage collector’s item sitting on a shelf somewhere. An actual Apple…
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Continue reading →: The Archaeological DigAdmittedly, part of the problem was the Instagram rabbit hole that I found myself in. What is my style archetype? Am I a Warrior or a Mother? Am I a Soft Autumn or a Warm Spring? Every swipe seemed to promise another layer of self-discovery wrapped in a convenient package…
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Continue reading →: Why Are So Many Gen Xers Getting Cancer?There’s a quiet conversation happening in doctors’ offices, research labs, and middle-aged group texts right now, and it sounds something like this: “Wait… why does everyone suddenly know someone our age with cancer?” For years, cancer was culturally framed as something that happened “later.” Retirement-age later. Grandparent later. Yet many…
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Continue reading →: Aging in the Wild: What No One Told YouThe Moment We All Pretend Doesn’t Matter There’s a moment, and if you’re anywhere past your late 30s, you’ve had it. You catch your reflection and think, wait… when did that happen? It’s never dramatic. No overnight transformation. It’s something small. A hair. A line. Something your inner voice insists…
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Continue reading →: What’s the Deal with Chin Hair and Why Does It Have More Commitment than My 20s Boyfriend?The Rogue Hair That Stole the Spotlight I was well into my 40s when I met it: a lone, wiry chin hair glinting in the bathroom mirror. It seemed to appear overnight, twirling in the light like it had been there forever – truly, more committed to sticking around than…
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Continue reading →: Love in the Time of Mild CongestionIn my work as a gerontologist, I spend my days talking people through some of the more complicated pieces of aging. Chronic conditions. Care plans. The occasional family standoff over who actually lost the blood pressure cuff. Which is why it always amuses me that one of the clearest windows…
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Continue reading →: When You Don’t Know How to StopSome of us don’t rest; we just collapse decoratively. We “take a break” by switching to a different kind of work. We mistake exhaustion for momentum, because stillness feels too much like being forgotten. We’re the ones who write with a migraine, grade papers while half-asleep, or wake up at…
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Continue reading →: Core Values: Why Pilates Is the Midlife Woman’s Secret WeaponThere was a time when fitness meant bouncing around in neon spandex to the sounds of Paula Abdul. Jazzercise. Step aerobics. Even a brief, ill-advised flirtation with CrossFit (there were ropes—I won’t talk about it). Now? I lie on a mat and breathe. Slowly. With control. I’m 90 Pilates classes…
Hello!
👋 I’m Pam Abbott-Enz, a gerontologist, educator, writer, and fellow traveler in the messy, funny, and deeply human work of growing older.
Here you’ll find stories, reflections, and evidence-informed resources drawn from decades of studying aging while living through its plot twists myself. Whether you’re a student, caregiver, professional, or simply curious about growing older, I hope you’ll find something here that helps you navigate the journey with greater confidence, compassion, and wonder.
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